Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics [EXPLICIT LYRICS]

Get the party started with the classic early 50s version that started the whole phenomenon, Mr. Hankey the Christmas Pooh. If that doesn't get you in the South Park Christmas spirit, Mr. Garrison's energetic rendition of Merry F'ing Christmas will - unless you're one of those dirty heathens who don't celebrate the season. You'll join Mr. Hat in applauding this modern classic. Let's not forget the true meaning of Christmas, though - close your eyes and listen to Eric Cartman's beautiful version of Oh Holy Night - you can almost hear the angels' uh, something. Juan Swartz and the South Park Children's Choir try to bring you down by pointing out how we will all someday be Dead, Dead, Dead, but leave it to Mr. Mackey to get the eggnog nogging again with his beautiful Carol of the Bells, mmmkay. It's important we don't forget all the little Jewish children (even though Kyle's Mom has a history of ruining Christmas for everyone else), for, as Kyle Broslofski sings, it's hard to be The Lonely Jew on Christmas. For everyone else, though, it's a blast. Heck, even Shelly Marsh takes the time to sing the ditty-like I Saw Three Ships, although Stan and his turd friends don't make it easy for her. Then Stan Marsh and Wendy Testaburger team up to sing It Happened in Sun Valley.

It's time to get serious now, though. Who isn't moved to tears by Adolf Hitler's heartfelt rendition of O Tannenbaum? Even Satan is moved by it, ushering in Christmas Time in Hell; soon the Kennedys, Hitler, Mao Tse-tung, and even Michael Landon are joining in the South Park Christmas spirit. But it's time to return our focus to the reason for the season. Chef emerges to lay down a smooth groove on his beautiful rendition of that beloved Christmas classic, What the Hell Child is This? Of course, you can't have a Christmas album without the song Santa Claus is On His Way, sung the way only Mr. Hankey can sing it. Then Eric Cartman reminds us that Christmas isn't Christmas without a Swiss Colony Beef Log, and he really rocks the house when he decks the halls with boughs of Swiss Colony. At this point, the South Park Children's Choir returns to sing Hark the Herald Angels Sing - they don't sound like angels, I'm afraid. But what of poor Kyle? He's fine, playing Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel - this is a great medley featuring the entire Broslofski family along with Eric and Stan. The next track sort of speaks for itself, in a muffled sort of way, as Mr. Hankey and Kenny McCormick team up to sing the Most Offensive Xmas Song Ever. After Mr. Ose sings We Three Kings, Mr. Hankey, Stan, Kyle, and Eric close out the album with perennial favorite Have a Merry Little Christmas.

Obviously, if you are easily offended or have never understood what South Park is all about, you won't enjoy this album. They put that Explicit Lyrics sticker on there for a reason, you know. Those who can't stomach hilarious irreverence in their Christmas celebrations may in fact, after hearing this album, start some kind of anti-South Park campaign, so I would have to implore such people (and you know who you are) from listening to Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics. Let all the rest of us have our harmless little fun.


Merry Christmas!!!   February 18, 2004
 1 out of 2 found this review helpful

This is the only album you will need at christmas time. Cartman getting words wrong, Mr Garrison being bitter, Chef giving good lovin'...fantastic. There are a few traditional songs on there that i tend to skip, but the funny stuff (ie - dreidel dreidel dreidel, Merry F#####g Christmas, o holy night, dead dead dead) is really funny!
This has all you need for the festive season. Humour, Festive cheer and sentiment. or do i mean sediment?


most offensive album ever   December 12, 1999
 2 out of 6 found this review helpful

this is the best and the most offensive album you will buy some of the songs like merry f*****g christmas are amazing and really funny!